Climbing the Evolutionary Lift Shaft

We pull a few darwinian tricks out of our sleeves to get ahead!

Take some fierce competition for a limited resource and you have all the ingredients you need for some tasty natural selection, and that's exactly what's happened while we've been waiting for the lifts! Some call them horribly mutated, we just like to call them special.

Cubes

It's not just waiting for the lift that's a problem, it's getting in when it arrives. There's all sorts of space wasted above peoples' heads and around their feet. Why not put all that space to use? The Cubes are doing exactly that - by turning into cubes!

Yes, generations of evolution has turned them into the ideal workers to stack into a lift. They have no method of locomotion of their own and can't do anything when they get there, but hey, at least they're going!

Strands

With all the space in the lifts taken by the Cubes, others thought - as you need the lifts to get from place to place, and the lifts are in short supply, well then we'll have to get rid of the need to get from place to place - and that's exactly what they did! By growing the ability to be long, thin and elastic, they manage to be at their desk, in the lift shaft, in reception and at home all at the same time!

Of course, there are a few problems - they get tangled in the revolving doors, they don't have any limbs left to operate their computers and they generally get fatally snapped before their first week's employment is out but hey, no one said life was supposed to be easy!

Savage Arrays of Fangs, Claws, Unfettered Rage and Insatiable Hunger

With the lifts used by the Cubes and most of the other space taken by the Strands all that was left was the Everest of the office world - the stairs. It was thought no creature could make it up thirty flights of stairs and live but they showed otherwise! By turning their hands and feet into thick claws that are good both for climbing and ripping unprotected flesh, paring down their limbs to bare bone and sinew and ditching their torsos to save weight, they proved they've got what it takes to get to the top!

Admittedly all that climbing makes them perpetually hungry, they have lost all but the most basic animal instincts and are limited to lurking in corners of the ceiling and mercilessly predating the Cubeds and Strands, but hey, they're part of the team and they're doing their bit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

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